I was happy to return to Resolute Base after the sortie aboard the freighter. Every muscle in my body ached and I was eager for a shower. I dropped my kit off in Iron Squadron’s ready room. It felt odd to think of myself as a part of the squadron.
I sat atop my trunk for a moment, catching my breath. My heart was still threatening to burst from my chest. I reached into my breast pocket and withdrew the tiny holo-projector that I kept on me at all times.
I activated it and a small hologram of an twi’lek female appeared. She had a smile similar to mine; as rare as it was recently. I felt a lump form in my throat as I looked into the hologram’s eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears. My mind’s eye flashed back to the moment where I threw a blaster bolt into the back Engineering Officer’s head. I felt a tiny tear slip down my cheek.
“That was for you Kluub,” I reassured myself. I shut off the projector before I broke down completely. I got up to access the contents of my trunk. I pulled out a fresh uniform. Underneath was Daesha, a stuffed animal version of a Bibfort. Misha had given it to me as a gift. I slept with Daesha every night, holding her close. I squeezed the stuffed animal tightly, as tears began to trickle down my cheeks.
I heard the door hiss open and I threw Daesha back into my trunk and slammed it shut, not eager for my comrades to see me with a plush toy. A fan of Heavy Isotope music shouldn’t sleep with stuffed bibfort. Wiping the tears from my face with my sleeve, I grabbed my fatigues. Without looking to see who had entered, I pushed my way into the hallway and made for the showers.